"Inconvenience is my Convenience" by Neha Jain

After being associated with SOCARE for a while I wanted to start seeing more deeper into the life of people who form the back bone of this organisation, which in turn would provide us motivation to follow the heart beats of these souls that are giving a healing touch to the most needy in the world.

As a part of this, I wanted to chat with the septuagenarian, who is kid at heart, Mani Uncle, as called by all the little warriors at SOCARE, a rare and precious diamond, that mother nature had gifted the humanity with, the founder of SOCARE.

As I walked in that morning into Mr.Mani's house, I was invited by the kids with their cheerful smiles, girls have gone for the bharatanatyam class and the bigger kids have gone to the playground.

I have been recieved by the caretaker of the Rajaji nagar branch and as I walked in, I could feel the positive energy vibing around, filled with little murmurs of the little ones. As I sat down a very energetic man, drops down the stairs with ease and a welcoming and warm smile. He says "My wife told me, that u would be coming at 9:00AM, but I thought, On a sunday morning, you would sure be wanting to relax and come little later." As I eased into the chair, even before asking anything, he goes about talking to this little one Stephen, cuddling and pampering him. Then I realized, this man "Breathes and lives SOCARE".


Q1. Tell us something about yourself. Were you always into social work?.

Childhood:
I was born in a village near kanchipuram in Tamil nadu. Since childhood I was interested in social work. In our village there was this temple where in people use to go and touch their heads in devotion on the dhayjastambha (tall column in front of the Hindu temples that is considered a store of positive energy and also an indication that the construction of a temple is successfully completed). The people from lower classes/castes of society of my village were not allowed even in the vicinity of this temple and were made to stand at least 20 feet away from the pooja(the place where deity of God is placed) place. Not only this when we used to go to school, the people from high castes and other Brahmins asked us not to take the route where SC/ST(lower caste) people lived, though that was a much shorter way and made us walk through a longer way. The caste discrimination was at it’s heights in my village. That was the time I was around 7 when this thought came in my head that I should do something about these people who are being denied the basic humanitarian treatment.

Education and Professional life:

I did my early schooling in my village after which I came to Bangalore for higher school. I did my college from ‘KC Das College’ in Mumbai while working. I ran away from home in search of job and came to Mumbai.
Talking about college, he talks of all the beautiful girls in his college, he says, each one of them looked like a Film star and as destiny decided, right at that time, Mrs. Mani walks in to the Office, She over heard what she said as she was making her way into the office, and even at her age of 63, she did not spare him with the feminine touch and said “Then, you should have married one of those beautiful girls” and bursts into a beautiful smile. The glow on her face, just reminiscent of the joy she derives in becoming part of her husband’s passions and dreams. Soul mates in action.

Then, Mr.Mani continues….
I got a job in a hotel where I was paid 8 bucks per month. After some time I got a job in accountant generals’ office in Mumbai. By this time my SSLC result came and I cleared it. My father said that he will not punish me if I would send 50 bucks home every month. So I kept changing jobs. I worked in some private companies for some time like ‘Doctor and company’ and ‘Dalda’. After this I enrolled in a college and thus finally landed in a job with RBI. There I was made rural development in charge. That made me all the more passionate about social work.



How SOCARE started:
While going to school, there was this central jail that use to fall in the way and we had to cross it everyday. There were peculiar cases where mother is dead and father has got lifetime imprisonment. Each day that I passed from there I saw kids of central jail convicts sitting in that scorching heat, ruthless rain, crying for food. For no fault of theirs they were being punished. I died thousand deaths seeing those kids there and then finally decided that they don’t deserve this at all. Infact they deserve a much more respectable life. That was the time I knew I wanted to do something for such kids who have parents but have not known their love. And I knew this is going to change.

My Married life
After marriage when my wife came to know about my smoking habit she was baffled. I promised her that I will leave this once we get a child. God blessed us with our eldest daughter, I dint quit smoking and said that I will quit with the birth of next child. God again showered his blessings on us in the form of my 2nd daughter but I still could not quit it. Finally I said I will do so once we get a son and the third kid was indeed a son. But I found myself unable to quit smoking. This time it was grandchildren that I said would stop me from smoking. But nothing helped.

And Mr.Mani unhesitatingly grabs the pack of Cigarettes on the table, burning off the tobacco from the pipe, to burn the evil in the society. Who knows, May be the fire on his lips, keep up the fire in his heart even at 68, always in high spirits.

He then continues with the Cigar in his hand, According to me, a quote by Jean Jackunyy, a French philosopher “A thinking man is a deprived animal” is true to today’s world. If we look at human evolution, To start with Man did not think,he was in communion with nature, he cared for only one thing – food. But as and when he started thinking all the negative aspects crept in.

About his Kids:
I have three children, 2 daughters and a son. I was never a good father to my kids. At a very young age I asked them not to be dependent on me for anything and carve out their own paths for their lives. The best part was my kids responded to it in a very positive way and realized that they have to make their own lives. From there on, it was a truth that existed between us. My eldest daughter is the one who responded to it in the most +way. But my younger daughter remains my pet. I share all my ideas, thoughts with her and she reciprocates in similar way.

Q2. What is socare and how did it happen?

Socare Ind is an NGO which takes care of children of life convicts and strives to give them a better life. Currently we have 2 facilities: one in rajajinagar and the other in chamrajpet. We have 65 kids in all. Till now around 125 families have been benefited. Every year around the month of March, is, when we add 10-15 kids in socare. I think it’s a big task for a middle class person like me.
I retired as AGM from RBI in 1998 and knew that the time has come to start something like socare. As I said earlier I knew that my future lied in serving the poor and needy people. Just that I dint know when this will happen. I had told my kids not to depend on me for anything and become independent mentally, morally, physically and charter their lives on their own. The best part is my kids responded to this and never looked at their father for any kind of help.

It took me 30 years to convert my ideas to reality. But all throughout my ideas were loud, very loud and so my wife and children were mentally reconciling themselves for what was about to come. It was not an easy task to share, whatever I had earned in my life, with others, that too with unknowns, strangers. There is a personal stake on these kids. They have absolutely no one to depend on except me.

Q3. How do you come to know about children whose parent(s) are life convict?

My correspondence to jails. I have been talking to the jail officials all these years and over a period of past 6 years I have gained that kind of confidence from the jailers, parents and the police. Now every time I want to adopt more kids they help me talk to the parents and arrange things so that I can get the children to SOCARE.

But it was not all that easy in the beginning. I remember it all started in 1999 when my wife and I went to a small village to pick up 2 kids named Manju and Shashi. The father had killed the mother and so was in jail. But when we reached there the villagers reacted vehemently on the idea of our taking the kids with us. We tried reasoning with them, but in vain. The situation worsened and they literally shooed us out of the village. We were left with no other option but to flee. Had I wanted I could have taken the police’s help, but I was there to gain their confidence more than anything else so that they are assured that we are not going to harm the kids, on the contrary, we are here to support them, give a life of dignity and respect. So after few days we again went there. This time came out successful and so started SOCARE Ind with these 2 kids. From there on there was no looking back in the past 7 years we have grown to be a family of 80 beautiful kids.

The most difficult part was to get information about such kids from the life convicts, the jailers and the state police. The most important factor being their Confidence in us.

Q4. Are you in contact with all the Karnataka jails?
Yes, I am. I am in regular correspondence with Bangalore, Belgaum, Bellary, Raichur, Bijapur etc jails. They have come to know us over the years and trust us.

Mr.Mani reaches the shelf under the table counter, and pulls out a file, with all kind of correspondence with the Jail staff and with parents and reads a few of them out for us.



Q7. Tell us about the eating habits of children in socare. Something about extra-curricular activities, entertainment, medical facilities etc
I believe strictly in vegetarian food. We lay more emphasis on vegetables, curds and ghee because they are most important for growing children. All the girls are learning Bharatnatyam; it’s a big thing for me. In another 3 years I will be ready with these girls to give independent performances. There are 7 teachers who come regularly for their tuitions and we have group insured them. We have a Doctor who visits the kids on a regular basis... we keep a tab on their behavioral patterns. Under nourished kids are taken care of separately.

I want to take all the kids to Chennai once. I am making arrangements for the same but funds come across as an issue always but hopefully I will be able to do it. A lot of my children are taking karate classes.

Q8. Did the children face any emotional, psychological issues when they were brought to socare?

Regulating children’s habits is certainly a problem. When we get kids from rural places, they find it hard to adapt to the new circumstances where everything is much disciplined. There have been cases where children have run away from SOCARE only to be caught by the police and get them back here. We put badges on every child’s clothes so just in case he tries to attempt something like this we can track him. Harshness would not have helped at all. These kids were coming from rural places where in they never faced any restrictions in terms of eating habits or day to day habits. But after coming here things certainly changed. It’s more difficult for children from slum areas to adapt to SOCARE than rural areas coz they have already learnt a lot of things. Now here they have to first unlearn them and then learn new things. This came across as a major challenge. But we overcame all of them and still trying our level best to put each and every child at ease with others and the surroundings. If you look at the kids here, they are extremely friendly and easy going. They welcome any new child comfortably. We are constantly working on their behavioral patters.


Q9. How do you raise funds for socare?
(Mr. Mani was extremely hesitant in talking about money matters to us. According to him one should not discuss money everywhere because people can take it otherwise for instance taking this interview as a channel for raising funds. But then decides to talk candidly with us about all money matters.)

There are four ways of raising funds for socare. By organizing the Greeting Cards exhibition every year in the month of Nov - Dec. The money generated by this exhibition is very helpful for paying off the admission/tuition fees of children every year. Every year we are selling approximately one Lakh cards. (His wife tells us that every year he falls sick after this exhibition and is admitted in hospital at least for a week)
Then by home participation by people as in individual/ families coming ahead and helping in kind or cash. People celebrate the birthdays, marriage anniversaries, any many other important moments of their lives with kids here in form of Food or Money. They come to know about SOCARE through media. Then we collect old newspapers from different organizations/houses/whoever are willing to help and sell them. Sometimes we get funds from Corporation though that constitutes very little to the overall funds raised.

Q10. Is money a problem?
Money is always a problem with the children growing up at a rapid pace and thus their needs/ demands also increase. Apart from studies there are a lot of things that children are involved in that needs money. The audit that we have every year is extremely stringent. Each and every paisa is accounted for and questions asked on every rupee that is being spent.

As we were talking to him, Mr.Mani interupted us to go for breakfast with him. We walked into the dining area and to our surprise, Mrs.Mani had served us a delicious breakfast, the Button Idli, and Vada, with sambhar, from a local joint. She clarifies that she did not make it. Mr.Mani does not hesitate to indulge in, on a week end. I continued my chat, as we were gulping down those little Idlis, melting their way through my tummy.

Q12. Don’t you feel bored sometimes?
Otherwise also u get bored in life at this age then why not get bored like this. “Inconvenience is my convenience”. Sometimes even I feel I should have fun but at the same moment I realize that if I take rest, SOCARE will come to a rest, a complete rest. But I do take rest sometimes in afternoons for an hour or so. After all, old age is catching up with me. I have cardiac problems and I do take medicines. If I want, even I can have fun, but I don’t want to. No one has stopped me, but I cant.

Q13. Tell us something about your wife

My wife Saroja, is a fine lady. It’s me who is so complicated. She has sailed with me throughout my life. She knows when exactly to fight, when to cooperate and when to show love. Off lately she has started taking interest in SOCARE and she is the one to reach out to people. She is not hesitant at all. She is open in asking questions and ready to give answers. and speaks very nice Madrasi Hindi. (laughs).
Now she is a participant in the whole process. But yes she certainly feels that I deny her my company. We hardly talk for 5-10 mins in a day and she complains about it. We have been like this from past 10 years now but she understands. She feels lonely sometimes.

Q15. What is your vision for socare?
In 2008 we will complete 10 years. I want to have 100 children in all the three centers by then in all the 3 facilities. Currently we are 65 in Bangalore and 18 in mysore. It takes constant thinking/planning and never ending devotion to do something like this. I want to touch each and every family’s life through socare and I know I will.

Q16. What message you want to give to other people who want to contribute to the society

The first thing that I would like to say is that I don’t want any one to start an organization like SOCARE without having a natural zeal and devotion to do something for the society. It’s not a joke. In the society that we live in, if any member of a family is in jail, the society looks down upon the entire family and not on an individual. This is something that we have to change. Starting an orphanage is a matter of lives. It demands undivided devotion. There should be an inseparable attachment between you and the orphanages (kids) only then will that sense of serving the society will come. Its an extremely complex job that outsiders don’t seem to realize and needs a person as complex as me. (Smiles). Without such a complex personality I would not have had the courage of taking the responsibility of so many lives. I am much more complex than people think me to be.

As we all burst into smiles, I decided to take off, it is almost lunch time now, and I would have continued rest of my day listening to these soothening mantras coming from this soul. As I took off from this holy place, these words echoed in my being "Service to Humanity IS Service to God".